Something for the Weekend, Sir? It’s important – and responsible – to use adequate protection. My own helmet, for example, is wrapped in tin foil.

I have done this on doctor’s advice. Well, indirectly anyway. I was feeling a little under the weather and booked to see my GP. Naturally, by the time my appointment came around three weeks later I was feeling much better but felt it was too rare an opportunity to miss. So I made up a few illnesses to make her feel appreciated.

At least, I think it was my GP. She spent the entire seven-minute consultation with her back turned as she jabbed away at a computer and replied to WhatsApp messages on her mobile, so it could have been a locum.

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